as i sit next to him…

i wonder who is he. how did we get here?

look at those eyes. look at that smile…

fuck i’m a sucker for it.

damn. how did we get here?

i wonder who is he texting?

who else is he sexing?

is it me like he say or is it all a facade created to cater to my ego & to his favor?

when we lay, am i really where you want to be?

we have fun together.

we laugh together.

we’ve share moments together.

but what does any of that mean?

are we simply enjoying each other’s time in the moment?

are we working toward a forever type ending?

where do we stand?

how does it end?

sometimes i wonder, is it worth it?

yes i am happy.

this thing makes me smile.

but also boils my blood & makes me cry.

i wonder if he ever wonders what i’m doing?

what i’m thinking.

how i feel?

if my needs for certain levels of affection drive me outside of us.

as i sit.

i appreciate life as it is.


those rainy thoughts…

i wonder what he looks like. smells like. kisses. hugs. cuddles with me. joke with me. encourage me to keep going when i fear completing a task. his smile. his teeth. will he have a beard? what about tattoos? any piercings? what about his hair? does he even have any. his height. his build.

i wonder how he grew up. how does he connect with his family. is he family oriented? wonder what ours will look like. will he love with his all? has he witnessed love? does he love him? how will it feel to be so in love with someone who loves their own self. i wonder how will he express his love. will it be loud & extra or soft & gentle… maybe a combination of both.

i wonder will we dance around the house to classic r&b cuts. will he rap all the lyrics to my ratchet rap music. will he send me songs that remind him of me? will he sing off key to brighten my day. i wonder will he even appreciate music as i do. wonder if he plays any instruments. can we be the old couple two stepping in the club as we mature.

with time how beautiful will the love will grow. will he be gentle when my problems appear? will he share his true mental health with me? wonder how beautiful it will be to feel safe & trust each other with our fears. the beauty in being able to ugly cry together & still see beauty before you.

i wonder what he laughs like. how does it sound. is it soulful? i wonder how will he sleep. will he watch me sleep. to feel him crawl in the bed with me to end our day. to pray together. to rest & be at true peace with one another. how amazing the sex will be. to know that the thought of us together in the most passionate affectionate way will send sweet sensations to groins. to do. bite. sweat. moan sweet nothings. who will get the towel.

i wonder what it would feel like to really feel love. to see love when i look at you. to feel the internal joy within. to share energy with you. how your protection will comfort my heart & spirit. i may annoy you or you may not get enough of me…

just sometimes i wonder how that experience will be to meet my sanctuary. my soulmate. my real love.

with love

peace & blessings

deja 💙

let’s talk about…

let’s talk about sex. no really let’s talk about it.

from my experience it’s one of my favorite acts to participate in. remember this is judgment free, so if that statement placed distaste in your thoughts, just stop here because don’t ruin your own day or mine with projecting & societies labels ☺️

yes but back on the topic at hand, sex. what is it that’s so special about this act? what makes it feel so good? what makes it so unacceptable & dare not any speak on?

some individuals are just strangely uncomfortable with the conversation & i can understand. i welcome the conversation at most times. i feel that the communication of the subject can maximize the experience for all involved. not saying go for whatever someone suggest, to have your limits is fair & to be expected. remember it is to be enjoyed for all involved.

ask questions. yes as taboo as it may sound, asking questions, talking about what someone may like is beneficial & informative to all parties. if you like to have someone spit in your mouth say so. if you feel that’s a no for you then simply state that is nothing that you are interested in. don’t judge. don’t patronize them. just understand & appreciate everyone has their own kinks.

my belief is that once we all begin to understand that we all are made up of multiple complex layers, is when we will begin to remove the judgment & labels. but back to the conversation.

embrace your pleasures & share them with those that you choose to share & enjoy them with. if you like it slow & gentle say so. if you want to start slow then speed it up, say it proudly. if you prefer a variety of things share those pleasures. if you like a smack on the ass or slight choking it’s okay nothing is wrong. if you like sexting or videos or different forms of foreplay, sharing is caring.

just enjoy yourself every time you choose to share your time, energy, talents & effort with someone in a sexual manner. this is solely my opinion/advice in regards to someone you feel comfortable with & you have that level communication & transparency to where you want to share those things with. because if you don’t have those things, what is the purpose of the sex if it can’t be maximized to its fullest potential?

with that being said, get laid with pleasure. safely 😉

with peace & love,



i want to sigh in ecstasy. i want to feel my walls come down in pure joy! in the sighs & releases that allow the body to reach a new appreciation of the moment. to feel that you have let go if only for temporarily every care in the world. to connect with every move. to see how your entire body reacts to every woe of this energy. to feel free, blissful…vulnerable. oh how i miss the feeling of you & i cannot wait until we share these moments again where i can melt into your body & become one with you. how every stroke of you fills me up. how my nails can sink into your back & moans & all forms of profanity fill the space. the smacking. the clapping. the moisture that’s surrounds us from beginning to end. thrusting. throbbing. climaxing… until we meet again.